manslator:

As fun as the “men deliberately playing obtuse and misrepresenting your position” game is, let’s wrap this up with a summary:

1. If you are alone on the subway car, nobody gives a shit what you do. Go wild. Do the god damn splits and a cartwheel if you must.
2. If you’re all spread out but you notice more and more people are boarding, or if you board a crowded bus, you should take it upon yourself to slightly close your legs and gather your things to make the seats on either side available. The reason for this is that you are not fucking special and everyone else has just as much of a right to the space you don’t truly need to occupy. You are not the king of the land and I have an equal right to exist in public space.
3. EVERYONE IS JUST AS UNCOMFORTABLE AS YOU. You don’t have a special right to infringe on others’ space so you can be *extra* comfy while the rest of us suffer worse than we normally would if your rude ass stayed the hell home. It is not chill to spread your legs as wide as your hips will allow. I’ve never suggested you need to clamp and seal your thighs together.
4. As you may have noticed from the hundreds of notes saying this, lots and lots of people with jiggly coin purses don’t find it to be any particular pain or inconvenience to sit with knees hip or shoulder width apart.
5. I have no problem asking someone to move, and if they don’t, I make sure to spread my legs just as wide and aggressively jam myself in next to them.
6. Uh, I went to school and also have in fact encountered several sets of twigs and berries, and they hang from the front of the body. The way you describe your balls as though they hang right from where your taint ought to be (????) really confuses me because that’s definitely not how that is set up.